When you deeply know yourself and accept who you are, you gain power over your life experience.
Let’s have a conversation about permission together. Generally, women are not taught how to invest in their self-care or even in doing things they love. There seems to be an unwritten law that states that when you have completed everything you must to do for others, then you can invest in yourself as a woman. Even then, self-care is squeezed in between guilt and exhaustion. You feel guilty that you are investing time and money, and too exhausted to enjoy the moments of quiet and feminine nurture.
I want to remind you how important it is for your personal growth and professional success to focus on your self-care. More than that, investing in yourself with micro commitments leverage your confidence and worth. When you are feeling energised and in control, you open to seeing your world differently and for the better.
Admittedly, putting yourself first is similar to learning any new skill. You have a higher chance of success when you broaden your perspective about why this is important.
Making the connection how your wellbeing positively impacts others in your sphere is giving yourself permission to recognise your energy can (and does) influence everyone around you. As you shift how you view yourself, your time and priorities, people adapt. It doesn't happen immediately. Any change creates tension so be prepared for this too. By withdrawing your availability, even for a few minutes in a day can cause others to react. Be aware of this possibility and continue to focus on your self-care. Everyone will benefit. Put yourself first. Trust in the divine process that loving yourself gives to others.
What has been the biggest challenge for you to invest in your self-care? The truth is, and I say this with personal experience and what I have witnessed with the many women I have mentored over the years. There is a high possibility that you have a mindset pattern that has you serve others first.
Changing your mindset from others first to you first is a gradual process. So, lower your expectations for immediate results and go for easy wins. Be prepared that in the beginning you may be squeezing in you time between other priorities. Start small, 10-30 minutes a day or several days a week. Be strong about the importance of this time for you by creating non-negotiable appointments with yourself.
I worked with a business owner who was a single parent of 5 children under seven years and managing a team of 20 employees. She created a space of time between dropping the children at day-care and school and her business. It looked like this. After the last drop-off she would drive close to her business, and switch on Spotify to her favourite song (all of 3.5 mins). Then she would get out of her car, take in the day and walk around the car twice. Back in her car, she switched on her favourite song and sang out loud. Sometimes she drove around the round-about to get the last of her song in. The benefit was far-reaching. My client noticed how she was more patient with with her team and listened more before offering solutions. More than that, she told me that she felt a sense of freedom and control because she could see tangible results in her life. This gave her the confidence to incorporate more self-care activities and to invite her family and friends with her.
Before sleep, my client also incorporated a dash of journaling, recording three things she was grateful for in the day. Research has shown that practicing gratitude can lead to improved sleep quality. People who express gratitude before bedtime often experience more positive pre-sleep thoughts and less pre-sleep anxiety.
SELF CARE RECIPE
Here's my easy - start recipe to encourage you to give yourself permission and experience freedom with your life experience.
Create a Self-Care Budget: Allocate a specific amount of money you set aside each month to spend guilt-free on self-care activities. Put this money in a separate account and name it: CAREFORME. The act of creating an account just for you is powerful. It states that YOU are worth it. The amount can be as small or as big as your budget allows.
Low-time commitment: Low time commitments are confidence builders. Start with something that can be easily incorporated into your daily routine and you will stick to doing. Consider how my client started to gain her life back with a song and walking around her car.
Walk it out: Another form of a low-time commitment is to increase your physical activity. Physical activity triggers the release of endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. Exercise is a powerful stress reliever that can help reduce anxiety and improve mood. Walk it out can be immediate. As soon as you feel tension building in you, excuse yourself and go for a brisk 2 minute walk. You can increase your walking or rebounding or jumping on the spot. Shift your state behind close doors. The key here is to get out of your head. After you walk it out - give yourself a hug. This signifies to the brain that you have done something great and your mind is more willing to entertain this again.
Emotional Resilience: In case you need reassurance. Self-care helps you manage those gremlins of guilt and build emotional resilience. When you're better equipped to handle life's challenges, you can provide emotional support and stability to those who rely on you.
Let people know your why: Practice letting the people in your life know why you are not available (because your in your non-negotiable time). Let them know that caring for yourself benefits everyone and have a list of 2-3 benefits that you share. Again keep your expectations of their acceptance low. Better to be surprised than frustrated at their reactions to you putting yourself first. As you hold your commitment, people will adapt.
Role model Inspiration (without effort): Your commitment to self-care can inspire others to prioritise their own well-being. Your healthy lifestyle choices can motivate friends and family members to adopt similar habits. Just be you!
High Five Yourself: Every time you do something for yourself no matter how big or small, high five yourself. Movement and affirming your accomplishments strengthens your resolve to do more of it plus its a fun way to anchor in your worthiness!
Have you been trying to do this on your own and can't quite keep the love and momentum. Maybe we can help. This is what we help women do with our signature growth program and courses. Even if your a little curious, I invite you to book a free exploratory call. We can help make out an easy first step to powerfully choose you. Book your time for your free exploratory call here. I look forward to meeting with you.
Until next time, keep believing in what is possible for you