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The mindset shift that transforms fear.

Updated: Oct 4, 2023

Let's talk about obligations. If you ask yourself why you can't find the time to invest in the important areas in your life, the answer probably resides in how and with whom you spend your time and energy.

There have been many conversations where I've witnessed women declaring:

I can't just walk away from this club/membership because it cost a lot of money. or "I can't not turn up to this event because people rely on me." or "I've always been the one who says yes at work, I can't possibly start saying no."

Does any of this sound familiar to you too? If so, take a breath and exhale. This is more common than you think. Women, in particular feel the weight of already agreed obligations. Add in the tendency to please others while giving your best, it's no wonder that there is less time to engage in what fulfils the very heart in you. You simply don't have the energy to focus on your ambitions and big ideas for your future. Knowing this, scares you more than over-committing and being obliging.

There have probably been times when you wish you could just run away from those obligations. Do your best not to be so hard on yourself. The awareness that you have about your obliging nature is the catalyst for change. You can transform this fear and gain your time and energy back. And do so elegantly and with the upmost respect.

It starts with understanding your obligations to yourself. There are integral elements to living your life whole, in a state of empowerment and love. Once you are more familiar with these elements, you can start to include them in all your decision making opportunities.

  • Know your rhythm. Women often adapt to others expectations and timeframes. Don't rock the boat, don't say no. You can even convince yourself that you can do it all. But this isn't your natural rhythm. It's resilience which is learnt. To know your rhythm is an investigation. When do you feel in sync with what your doing (or who you are with)? You might refer to it as being in the zone. I worked with a woman who could spend hours painting and is an incredible artist. For her to be this artist and have a financial business meant that she had to make this time a priority. Before agreeing to anything outside of your day-to-day obligations ask yourself 'Can I do this in my rhythm?" If the answer is no and you know this thing will sap your energy, say no thankyou.

  • Diarise your non-negotiable time before anyone else. You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you are turning down the extra work or not going to that event or cancelling your membership. It's simply a no thank-you. Diarise yourself and your future endeavours before agreeing to anything else. And keep your appointments with yourself. This above all else will test your conscious/unconscious behaviours so go slow. Start with a reasonable time frame so you get used to putting yourself first. To make this easier for you, I want to invite you to share what you are doing with a friend and ask for their support.

  • Celebrate your wins, big and teeny. To embrace the phenomenal woman that you are, you must get used to celebrating yourself. Think about it this way. When your obliging, you are not necessarily celebrating. More likely getting through it or trying to hold back the fear that you're here again. When you do allow yourself to be completely immersed in building your future vision, it is possibly so uncomfortable at first that it scares you too. What will people think? Are you just being selfish? So you have to train yourself to accept and believe that your ambitions and your big ideas are worthy of your attention. I know this is a toughy. It is a stumbling block so don't hesitate to reach out for an exploratory call to have a break-through around this.

  • Run away. This may seem counter-intuitive but I am actually encouraging you to do the thing that fear bubbles up inside of you. This is a mindset shift. A change in perspective. Fear of this calibre comes directly from your intuition. You know this too right. Your time is sacred. So listen to your inner knowing. Ask yourself if you say yes to this commitment or keep going to that situation, will it get you closer to your ambitions and vision for yourself or further away? If it's - gets you closer - by all means study what holds you back and move through it. But, if your intuition is giving you a clear signal that this is not a loving use of your time and energy - run away as fast as you can. The women practicing this in our signature program call it - clipidy clop as fast as I can because they understand the growth that comes with taking practical, powerful action towards their vision. You too can gain valuable insights into your true nature and what works best for you. And what is just as exciting is that you have time to spend with the people you care for and work on your big ideas creating your future.

Maybe you are ready to explore what holds you back from giving yourself the time to follow your dreams. This is what we help women do with our signature growth program and courses. Even if your a little curious, I invite you to book a free exploratory call. We can help make out an easy first step to powerfully choose you. Book your time for your free exploratory call here. I look forward to meeting with you.


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