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Is it self-sabotage or is it that you haven't learnt another way?

I’d like to have a conversation about freedom to be yourself. Specifically, why sensitive, sometimes creative and always ambitious women give up on exploring their full-hearted potentiality. I have met so many women who are exhausted because they can’t seem to “pull themselves together” and actually achieve their goals. They have spent thousands of dollars on personal development, degrees and books and yet find themselves in exactly the same place. Embarrassed and very quiet that they haven’t launched that thing, lost that weight, succeeded with that degree, turned their attitude around, achieved in their career, found great love.

The question these amazing, yet defeated women are left with is gritty.

When am I going to stop sabotaging my real life?

If any of this resonates with you, I’d like to share this:

This isn’t self-sabotage. If things aren’t working out in your favour (please don’t shoot the messenger here), it’s because you haven’t learnt the right fit process that encourages you to dream bigger, take action and achieve. You could be disagreeing with me right now because you have invested all this time and money. That was me too and I can say, with the right fit process, you can comfortably use all your previous investments. It's about having things in order and respecting your style.

What I’ve learnt is this. Traditional modalities of personal growth don’t work for women who want the freedom to be truly be themselves. That model is problem fixing, firm goal setting and do as I say. One form of structure and one way of getting things done. You can do the work for a while. At some point it’s enough, it becomes to painful fitting in and you subconsciously pull out and shelve your big ideas again.

Full hearted women need growth with structure, creativity and significance. It’s true isn’t it? You want to be involved in things that matter and where you matter. Women geared towards conscious endeavours need space to think and theorise. Chances are, you do not like being told what to do. Given the space, and consultation, you can come around to a different way of thinking. Working with structure that offers you flexibility increasing your self-confidence. With the right community who listen and appreciate you – now you can become unstoppable.

Freedom to be yourself comes at a price. This is one that will keep giving you a return on your investment, and you get to choose!

It starts with getting clear on how you spend your time. To radically shift from disempowered with what’s not done to empowered and what can be achieved, you need to measure your time. How you spend your time connects directly to your value system. When your in sync in with values, you know it. Your heart and soul feels happy. You're in the 'zone'. The truth is we can do anything distasteful for a short period of time. But, give you something to do that lights you up and time zips by. Time can work for you and lead you closer towards your goals or work against your best intentions. This is a super-generous tool called Minding My Time.

Minding My Time

Grab your daily calendar / diary. I suggest printing one out if you don't have a physical copy. You will need one page for each day over 7 days. Title each page: Freedom to be myself. Your diary / calendar must have 30-60 minute slots. It can be as fancy as you like. The key is that you use it every day. You will be recording how you invested in that time. Did you wash your hair, run errands for others, go to work, sleep, eat.

Set a time to record how you use your time. This is a daily occurrence and kind of fun too. No-one is judging you here. Set a date with yourself to fill in your calendar every day. The times can vary but you must mark the time you record your day on your calendar. Beside the day's date, I want you to write this statement – because I value myself to be here. Ok, right now you may find you are distracting yourself just by writing down that simple statement. Stay focussed, you are valuable and deserving. Keep going.

Every little thing. Now, you are pushing the big weights for personal GROWTH. I am inviting you to play full-out and record every little thing you are doing between the timeframes suggested for the day. Go heavy on the detail not just - ate breakfast. What was breakfast? Healthy green protein smoothie plus 2 pieces of grain toast. Every little detail. This is about being super conscious how you flow through your activities and day.

Done and gold dusted. At the end of the day, grab your calendar and a journal and set an alarm for ten minutes. In these ten minutes, I invite you to do an audit of your day. Check it out, how much of your day was enhancing your growth and your freedom? What percentage was not? It may be say 60/40.

New day, new play. Reset your alarm for five minutes. This is when you get to choose! Nothing will propel you further along your confidence path than owning your choices. And being playful. Here’s what to do next. Ask yourself, what would you change about your day? How would you show up differently if you could do it all again? Write your notes on the current day and transfer them to the next day’s page.

Morning wake-up. To embrace the phenomenal woman that you are, you must set yourself up for the day. Before getting out of bed, read your notes on how you would show up differently and what you would do differently. Take a few minutes of your valuable time and invest it in yourself. Visualise yourself being this woman in your day. Read the page again. Now you are ready to meet your new day.

Keep your calendar for the full seven days. The thinking around self-sabotage can slip into your mindset. Be prepared for this. Your role over the next seven days is to keep choosing you and your freedom. I know it can be challenging especially when you have been used to the more traditional models of developing yourself. Reach out for an exploratory call on how to keep building on your mindset for Growth. You don't have to go it alone and the call is free.

Time In and Time Out. Once you have mastered your first week of Minding My Time, you can use it over again. I call this a super power tool because when you are aware of how you use your time and who you are in it – you also have the power to adopt micro-changes. This is very different from other forms of personal development. Our way is to give you the structure, the accountability and you get to choose how you engage with it. This is how slow down the thinking that you are self-sabotaging. Instead, powerfully see yourself creating change matched to your natural way of being.

You deserve to have every opportunity to live full-hearted and choose how you do it.

This is what we help women do with our signature growth program and courses. Even if your a little curious, I invite you to book a free exploratory call. We can help make out an easy first step to powerfully choose you. Book your time for your free exploratory call here. I look forward to meeting with you.

Until next time, stay curious

Anna xo


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