Overall, you’ll agree that you are a good person. Someone needs a helping hand and there you are. You like that you can be this person. Nothing is too much trouble and if it is…you will find a way. People like that about you. Reliable, go-getter, solution orientated. Quite frankly, you like that about you.
If you’re really honest, it comes at a cost. You stay up late to honor your commitments. You skip meals, drink a little too much and scroll on your phone. The phone thing is just so you wind down so you can rest. But do you? Not really. Tomorrow, it all starts again.
Do you wonder, what is going on here? I’m a good person. Surely there is more to my life than this? No one seems to notice that you take on too much and are over-whelmed. Maybe even more than a little peeved off (you can insert your own expressions here …... The thing is, if you are hoping your girlfriends can see how overwhelmed you are, you may be disappointed. Chances are they have told you about slowing down and well, you don’t like to listen. Because you have got the helping thing covered right?
You have got this! We both know this is only true some of the time.
That beautiful capable mask that your wearing is hiding tears. You’re looking for the solution that allows you to be that good person who helps and gives one that provides space to better care of yourself. I want you to know is it is possible. You can have both within reason. Although the overall challenge is deeper than what I am offering you today. I want to give you some hope. You are a solution orientated woman so let’s use this skill for your best advantage.
The 3 Yes’s – Personal Boundaries Hack.
Yes #1 is admitting that something has to change within you. This is a hand over the heart moment where you make a promise to yourself.
Here it is:
I promise that I will do my best every day to say NO to at least one person who asks me for help. I say YES to that. Now you have commitment. I know you will have to train yourself with this. You can do it. Try it out for 3 days, then add 3 days.
Yes #2 Is it nice to do, is it necessary or is it neither. I cannot express upon you enough to build your awareness muscles into this tool. It is a fast track for regaining your self-worth and limiting the impact on others. Only to be used once you have completed your commitment in step 1.
Nice to do: You have the time and energy. Helping this person aligns with your soul values. You give your best willingly. You are filled with gratitude for the opportunity. Necessary: Helping this person aligns with your soul values. It’s uncomfortable and you know its part of your growth. Schedule it and get help. Celebrate you when it is done. Neither: 3 words. No Thank You. You have neither the energy or the time. This isn’t something that resonates. Walk away. No other explanation needed.
Yes #3. YES ME. 15 minutes every day is dedicated to topping up your energy, love and appreciation. It can be anything and you can extend the time limit. You must be consistent. Therefore, you may want an hour for YES ME. The reality that you can commit to is 15 minutes. Keep YES ME in the realms of reality and get super strong at 15 mins. Build up from here. You will be surprised how quickly you gain confidence in making better decisions. The right decisions that love you back.
Do you have any questions? You can reach out to me here. As I mentioned, the deeper challenge is rediscovering the woman behind the beautiful, capable mask. If she is longing to come up for air and be seen. Maybe I can help. Let's book a free discovery call to explore how best to support your emergence.
Chat soon, Anna x