When we are heard, we feel loved.
I believe that there is a longing to have deeper, more fulfilling relationships in our homes, workplaces and as importantly with ourselves. We want to drop the masks that lead to exhaustion, confusion and separation but we have forgotten how to do it. If anything we don't want to - have to do another something.
Here's the good news - you don't have to.
Learning to be present and listen to another without interruption is a skill this is true. But it is not a skill you have to learn, it's a skill to remember is already inside of you. Be patient.
Tuning in your listening ears takes effort at first. Being generous in our listening takes time. Alongside tuning in and time is the practice of suspending judgment.
Healing is listening.
When we practice generous listening in Mindfulness classes and workshops, people are asked to suspend judgment, the need to fix anything or rescue the person speaking. This may mean that we sit in silence while people search inside of themselves for what they want to share. There is no pressure or force. The silence gives each of us time to observe our thinking and presence.
Becoming aware of the triggers that block listening enables us moment to moment to choose to bring our presence back to the person speaking. Gently, over and over we retrain our thinking to slow down and pay attention. Not only do we bring our presence to another person, we settle in our own being. We move from a place of being separate - in our minds and body to one of connection and wholeness.
"With steadfast intention and dedicated practice, our listening muscle will grow stronger, supporting us in our ongoing, communal need for connections that increase our emotional intimacy with one another". Mimi O'Connor, Healthcare specialist.
In-to-me-see - intimacy
I firmly believe that our willingness to suspend judgment is a catalyst for healing our relationship with ourselves as well as others. Being open and curious invites us to connect and respond differently than we may have done in the past. How we do this is easily recognized as there is a softness and inner peace to our engagements. We become more in tune with our internal compass and how to respond to the world from this place of being intimately aware.